hey sorry im late i didnt want to come
sometimes my twelve year old little sister will go on club penguin and trick a bunch of girls that she’s a guy and she’ll make them think they’re dating and then she’ll have them all meet her in the same place at the same time and watch them get into catfights about who’s boyfriend she is and thats how my little sister became a cross-dressing evil mastermind pimp on club penguin
the idea of being right-handed or left-handed is so fucked up. like how in the hell is it evolutionarily advantageous to have one hand that’s good at everything and one that’s fucking useless. why aren’t we all dead.
This is me, Eliza Thornberry, part of your average family. I’ve got a dad, a mom, and a sister. There is Donnie - we found him. And Darwin, he found us. Oh yeah, about our house - it moves, because we travel all over the world. You see, my dad hosts this nature show, and my mom shoots it. Okay, so we’re not that average. And between you and me, something amazing happened… and now I can talk to animals. It’s really cool, but totally secret. And you know what? Life’s never been the same.
When you haven’t watched this show in literally 7 years and can still read this in your head in her exact voice, and remember what parts to emphasise…
those times when you stretch and end up cracking a joint so loud its just
Me with my back every single day on the hour or every thirty minutes
omfg today a girl at school told me i was wearing the same outfit i wore yesterday
I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS HILARIOUS
WE HAVE A UNIFORM
ok apparently if a duckling imprints on a human and doesn’t meet other ducklings he ends up believing he’s a human too. that’s unbelievable. what if im just a duckling with an overactive imagination. what if im just a sleeping duckling and this is all a dream